To be special
 

On a particular mailing list, on a particular day, when the whole world was going through a particular uneasy feeling in the stomach, a question arrived on the computer: 
 
 
"Can anyone explain to me why human beings strive to feel special?  I understand how damaging the desire to feel special can be. I recently re-examined events from my past that when I boiled them down to their essence were nothing but my asking to be special. I also realize the damage this desire to be special has done to me energetically ever since. Since "special" is so damaging energetically, why do we choose to go this path? What do we gain from being "special" that is perceived as better than the energy we trade for it? 
 

  • To this my first instinct was to say: "You have been taught, like all of us, to feel special. Drop it! This is how society feeds on you, as it thrives on competition. The basic instinct of survival gets translated into this language of society. To be someone. By striving hard enough we hope to reach the top, as futile as that is. Gain respect. Security. Money".
  • My second thought contradicted this one somewhat: "I would never take the feeling of being special away from anyone. It is essential. We are special".

Special is not damaging energetically. It just depends on where this specialness comes from. Your need to feel special among people, to be someone respectful, comes from the survival instinct. It comes from fear. You are afraid that you are not worthy as a being. You cling to what other people think about you. You become a puppet. In a way, we are all each other´s puppets, dangling on our weak ego, without no one in particular being the puppet master. We are special, but from our very birth we are taught not to trust ourselves. We are taught to respect rationality, not feelings. We know we are special. It is a feeling. But it gets translated into the language of society where we constantly seek affirmations through the opinions of others, through the confusing medium of language, through the limited scope of rationality. We are basically taught to depend on opinion. We are taught to pretend, and not be. We are taught to overlook the fact that our specialness is within us, unique in each and everyone of us, that it is only language, imitation, that makes us cliché, dull and boring. 

None of us has gone through the same life as anyone else on this planet. Our experiences are unique. But language tends to standardize this uniqueness, and the more we try to please others in our communication, instead of listening to the spirit within, we bacome mere imitators of imitators of imitators....etc. none of it really real!! The only thing we truly have is within us. The truly unique person realizes his specialness, brings it forth. He is special because he knows he is. No one can take his specialness away from him because it is literally "beyond comparison". 

Being special in the eyes of others is not being special. It is arrogance. Being beyond comparison is a totally different thing. It passes no judgement on you or others. It offers complete acceptance to the things the way they are. You become humble in a strong sense of the word, and at the same time nothing threatens you anymore. You are untouchable and completely acceptable. 

Just realize it!!  Make it REAL. 
 
 

"The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence . The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to himself. Perhaps you are chasing rainbows. You´re after the self-confidence of the average man, when you should be after the humbleness of a warrior. The difference between the two is remarkable. Self-confidence entails knowing something for sure; humbleness entails being impeccable in one´s actions and feelings." 
(Tales of Power, p.6-7) 

"I know now that the humbleness of a warrior is not the humbleness of a beggar. The warrior lowers his head to no one, but at the same time, he doesn´t permit anyone to lower his head to him. The beggar, on the other hand, falls to his knees at the drop of a hat and scrapes the floor for anyone he deems to be higher; but at the same time, he demands that someone lower than him scrape the floor for him." 
(Tales of Power, p.19) 
 

Envy is lack of understanding. Imitation is suicide