Your spirit may be stultified ,whatever that is, but you are pretty eloquent in your lyrics as well as deep and probably artistic. All the best artists suffer, its the law. this time of loneliness and loss is for your art Thor. what is your art by the way, I think also you are bored. i always piss myself off when i am bored because there is no-one else to harrass.why do you think i write to you lot? so you lost your way, I bet you value it a lot more now. you cant get back to your childhood, just like you cant get back up the womb , trust me i'm always trying. can i suggest that you get in contact with whoever offered the "$25 for a petty tyrant" e-mail a couple of days ago. You need a kicking, we men need a fight sometimes. its healthy. You need a distraction because you cannot think your way out of it. don't sit there writing to us about how down you are, get out there big fella , you can do it. go find yourself an adventure, cause some mischief. do something out of character. (I can see i'm going to get myself into trouble here) come back and tell us what you did, and if you dont come back, I for one will know for a fact that you are out there having a great time. living your one and only life to the max. and no-one will tell me different. Good luck Thor ,ask your death, you're not lost yet. and dont forget to give your warriors war cry as you go. if it comes from the heart , you can do no wrong.      GO FOR IT!