thanks for your views on my e-mail regarding omens, 

for myself i find recapitulation tedious and slow whereas tensegrity has broken unwanted feelings that i thought i would never rid myself of. I have been amazed by the results. we all have our own preferences and demons to face so maybe tensegrity or body movement is my way. What is yours? 

with a name like Thor , it sounds like you were born with the viking gift. try using your hammer and smash whatever it is that is in your way.  maybe you have been too passive in exorcising your memories. 

maybe also you created a new set of routines out of what should have broken the old set. 

not forgetting also that all things must have their natural time. beginnings and endings this includes mourning of losses. patience too."know that you are waiting and know what you are waiting for". some times life is so shit and you go so far into the crap that you come out the other side happy.you could try making it worse. no pain, no gain and all that. 

I got a story; and it is true should you wonder. 

A friend of mine was imprisoned , he had been drugged without knowing while out one night and "lost the plot" . When he came round , in a cell , all he remembered was his attempt to kill someone with a garden implement, he didnt know if he had suceeded or not at the time. 
It was night time and the prison guard knew that he had commited a violent crime but didnt know what. In the cell next door was a man who kept going on about being experimented on and was obviously mad and so he was basically alone to ponder the life sentence for murder that faced him. When I knew him, he was always saying that he couldnt find solutions to his problems, every few months it was a different problem. you could see that they always weighed heavy on him .just one of those people. In those few hours in that prison cell, he was left facing the abyss, his current problems just didnt mean shit in comparison to what faced him. All his life he had been dealing with everything in a sort of worried, not sure way. All his troubles were still there but eclipsed by the mother of all troubles -a Life sentence. The funny thing was , he said that instead of feeling scared or lost he actually felt 100% alive and elated. He had at last succeeded in finding a problem that fucked him up properly. he said that he just crossed his legs and spent the time in that cell feeling absolutely exonerated from any worry or fear of the consequences. It was as if by the act of crossing the line of no return, he at last freed himself from his history of worry and so it didnt matter what direction his life took next.Prison or freedom.he knew he would cope. 
 

make of it what you want, but he is a changed and better man for what seemed like a really shit situation. It wasnt until his fate gambled his life for him , gambled his freedom. but that is what it took to change him. lucky for him he won. 

And he asked for it, says he actually stood in his room one day and said "I want to change". 
 

anyway, hope something helps , i know my friend will sympathise. 
M.